Pop the glock.

Not long ago I was watching T.V, Sky digital may I add, and as my fingers slowly tapped the numbers 360 on my remote, I was taken into a whole new world...U CHANNEL. I was delighted by the low budget videos, the occasional low budget chicks who were dutty wining on even lower budget MC's...however, my friend did not share the same joy as I. To cut a long story short she said the three most offensive words known to road..'GRIME IS DEAD'. I know.

I dont know what I was more disappointed in, the fact that my friend felt this way...or the fact that I was slowly beginning to see her point.

POINT ONE: U CHANNEL.

Now, dont get it twisted, channel u is a beautiful station. Playing the videos of many unknown/talented UK artists, videos that certain big named channels would only use to wipe their freshly doo-dooed bums with.However, with the good comes the bad...or should I say swag MC's. I can not count the amount of times I have sat mouth wide open watching some of the crap that comes crawling out of my tv screen. I'm telling you, that damp little girl from 'The Ring' aint got sheeeeet nuttin on these videos. I'm talkin making music videos using a mobile that still uses a MONOPHONIC ring tone. Please dont kill the scene!

POINT TWO: THE VIOLENCE.

Yes, I said it violence. Us guys dont really notice but we get cussed on a regular basis! How, you ask? We'll watch almost any 'grime video', you can not deny the 'yuh mudda' references' and 'yuh sistah' lyrics. I know its all fun and games but I would like to chill with the occasional tea and bikkys without being harrassed. Nuff love to Lethal b and dat but, "I'll bring Armshouse to your mums house"?!! It causes serious problems for me, I mean I dont know if I should continue happily skanking or call my dad about it.

POINT THREE: TOO MANY COOKS.

Now I promote self beliefe but it seems that every wo/man think they are going to be the next Dizzie Ras! There are way too many MC's doing the exact same thing, I often sit watching the same channel (U) not knowing where one video ends and another beings, thinking 'boy this a flippin long video aint it?'. Thats not the way God intended. Ever heard the saying too many cooks spoil the broth? We'll too many crap MC's spoil the...thing also.*sorry mind block*. Have originality, have fun, if your desperate even have connections to the spanish mob! But remember this...from when you know you can barely recite your ABC's, MCing somehow, possibly not be the right move. Save your money mate. I mean you dont see model Tyra Banks trying to host her own talk show!..Wait a second.

POINT FOUR: ESKI GRANDAD RUN WEH.

This is something that I had to say I did agree with, the fact that alot of the more talented MC's are either 'maturing' Wiley (you are still loved though) or decided that London is too rubbish for them *cough* Dizzie. I mean what will we all do when the 'oldies but goodies' decide to do a Jay-Z and retire...no I mean, REEALLLY retire? Unless someone comes up with a botox for grime, the music will become more wrinkly than Jim Branins naked ass. Yet after thinking about it there are quite a few yutes doing it big...Tinchy Stryder, Tiny Tempah and other MC's that make you have shall we say,'indecent fantasies' about dancing midgets.

POINT FIVE: NEW BRAND FLEXXX.

I do love these dudes, dont know them personally but I honestly like them maybe its because they are talented or maybe its because I dont want to get merked whilst on my daily milk and bread errand by a man coughing in my face and shouting 'ohh ahh cantona' . BUT, I do also wonder how long they are going to last and why the heck they are throwing orange millions into the chubby dudes face!? Is it some kind of threat?

Althoug she did have some valid points I still stand firmly by grime. Also, you'll be glad to know that not only is grime not dead. Its alive, kicking and making sweet love to my friends grandad as we speak. Good on ya grime.